Will Davies  May 19th 2020

Since lockdown started I’ve consciously been thinking about things related to my past; friendships from childhood, songs I used to dance to and previous jobs that made me feel like I had the world at my feet. These things remind me of good, perhaps simpler more optimistic, times, that sit in direct contrast to the (necessarily) regimented and more restrictive way that we’re all presently living in. It’s as though thinking about the past has become a coping strategy, a way of protecting myself against the stresses of the current situation, until a time when I feel I can engage with it more in the present and think about what my future might look like post lock down.

Judging by all the video calls, social media and news stories that are doing the rounds at the moment, I’ve noticed that other people are doing things a bit differently.  For some focussing on the present seems to be helping them get through, whether it be developing skills they previously never had the time to do or setting up and hosting various Zoom chats and quizzes. For others, this focussing on the present is a necessary means for them to just get through the day, blinkers on, heads down as it were. And then there are those who are choosing to invest in the future as their coping strategy; fixed, and in some cases banking, on a time when this is all over and ‘normal service’ can be resumed.

If you’re finding living in the lock down hard, maybe consciously choosing to safely think about your past, present or future, as a form of coping strategy will help. For example, if the future seems scary, perhaps try to ‘stay’ in the present for now or if the present feels intolerable, how about harking back to more enjoyable past times or do some planning for a future when things will be more bearable? Whatever your situation, if it helps you get through these difficult times and you stay safe doing so, there’s no shame in consciously withdrawing to a more comforting past, no guilt in choosing to just survive day by day and nothing wrong with wishing the time away and planning for tomorrow. You don’t have to do all three, all of the time.

So for me, right now, I’m happy to live in the past. Now please excuse me whilst I go and get my ghetto blaster from the loft.  

Find out more about coping strategies during Covid-19 here:

10 tips to help if you are worried about the coronavirus – https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/coronavirus-covid-19-anxiety-tips/
COVID-19 – coping techniques – https://www.saferplaces.co.uk/blog/covid-19-coping-techniques
Weird and wonderful ways to get through the covid 19 lockdown – https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/23/weird-and-wonderful-ways-to-get-through-the-covid-19-lockdown

Will Davies  April 28th 2020

Prioritising self-care is a topic I discuss a lot in my counselling room and often clients associate the idea of it with being selfish and uncaring. Sometimes this belief is inherited learning from an external influencer such as parents, friends or their community and other times it’s more internal, often stemming from a sense of low self-esteem. Whatever the reason, for them to put themselves before others just doesn’t come naturally.    

For me though, prioritising self-care has the potential to do a lot of good, not just for the individual but for their networks too. For example, something as small as scheduling in some exercise or watching your favourite movie and making sure it happens is proven to have a beneficial effect on your mental or physical health, which in turn makes you better able to juggle all the other aspects and responsibilities of your busy day.

When Covid-19 turned the world upside down, I realised that in order to best get through it, I needed to ‘practice what I preach’ and make sure to prioritise self-care in order to best look after my family, my friends and neighbours and my livelihood. Amongst other things, this has meant; taking the pressure off myself to achieve work-wise, sticking to my morning yoga routine when the kids want their breakfast, taking time to Zoom friends regularly and for once having a long bath instead of a quick shower.   

And so far, so good. The work still gets done, the children and garden are fed and watered (eventually) and I’m able to read the news without thinking the end of the world is nigh. In fact, there’s a part of me that is starting to see the current situation as an opportunity to maintain more of a consistent self-caring approach to myself, once the lock down has ended and some sort of semblance to normality has returned.

I know for a lot of people it is difficult for them to put themselves first. Caring for their families, the upkeep of their houses, the education of their children all seem to take precedence, but as a suggestion of something that might help you get through these difficult times, why not schedule some mandatory time in your day to exercise self-care? Putting yourself first isn’t selfish if it helps you keep going during these difficult times.

Find out more about self-care here:

What does ‘self-care’ mean and how can it help? – NHS blog

How can I help myself? – Mind website

Baines-Ball & Associates blogs